Afraid of the Washing Machine

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been charged with packing my four kids for our trip to Roanoke. I failed to mentioned that that also entails having to do laundry. After much deliberation and text messages to Janese, I now have three or four potential loads of laundry piled in the laundry room floor. My problem is that I am afraid to put them in the washing machine. Don't even mention dryer!!

From my pre-trip instructions from my lovely wife I was told to keep the darks separate from the lights/whites and anything red should be washed in a red load. When I walked into the laundry room to start the process I noticed there was a purple pile already started. What in the world am I supposed to do with purple!?! Luckily Janese had just landed back in Salt Lake City after a quick trip to California when I texted her again for help. She told me I can decide on my own whether to put the purples with the reds or the darks with the purples. Is one better than another? Does purple bleed? What benefit could I potentially get by putting purple with red? Does it ultimately come down to the number of purple items I end up with after the final sorting? Is purple a red load filler? If I put them with blue jeans is there the potential of ending up with purple jeans? The pluses and minuses of my purple pile of laundry are coursing through my head.

Damn you purple!!!

I am also completely confused over what is considered a white/light. I of course know what white is, but what do you do with those mixed articles of clothing? While going through the sorting process I discovered a white shirt with dark blue stripes or maybe it was a dark blue shirt with white stripes. In what pile does that belong? Is it a dark or a white? Even more confusing are the oranges, pinks, and yellows that are now scattered throughout my potential white pile. Should I create a pastel pile? I am almost to the point of washing each individual article of clothing, currently lying in haphazard piles on the laundry room floor, one piece at a time. I think that way I would avoid causing anything to bleed over (ask me about my pink underwear on my mission) and being yelled at from every kid in the house for ruining a favorite shirt or pair of pants. I think at this point I will skip the dryer all together. Who in the world created those hieroglyphics on the tags of clothes these days anyway? How am I supposed to tell by some squiggly line whether I can throw it in the dryer or not?

Wish me luck. I am heading for the laundry room and need all the prayers I can get.

Damn you purple!!!

Preparing for Roanoke...Aaaaaaahhhh!!!

Happy late Fourth of July! Janese is out of town with her four attending a Gillam Family Reunion in Utah, so the other kids and myself are holding down the fort. Yesterday we attended the Highlands Ranch 4th of July Parade and the local fireworks display later that night. It was a fun day. I got in a nap, which made it even better.

This next week the kids will be back at their mom's and I will be a bachelor with the designated task of packing myself and my four kids for our adventure to Roanoke, VA. We are going back to my home town to spend some quality time with my grandparents and other family members. I have been pretty concerned about driving 23.5 hours one way with eight kids in the van (insanity!) and how in the world would we make it in one piece, mentally and physically. We know from past road trips which kids need to be kept seperate and which kids work best sitting next to each other. For example, Q and Madison do not mix, especially for anything over 30 minutes worth of drive time. If seats are not assigned ahead of time, blood will be spilt.

I've decided now I am more concerned about how in the heck am I going to pack clothes for the kids?!? We are going to get to Roanoke and they're going to look like mismatched clowns for a week. I can just see Quinton freaking out and going around shirtless, because I accidently pack him one of Megan's shirts to wear that day. I can't tell whose clothes are whose! It is going to be really interesting when Janese gets back from Utah the day or two before we leave for Virginia and goes through my selections. I guess I will do the best I can. She has threatened me with my life if she comes home and nothing is done. If I have to, I might grab the kids from their mom's during the week and have them double check my work. I am amazed that Janese can pick up a sock and know who it belongs to!! I think socks should be disposable and biodegradable, so that eventually they just disappear in the washing machine. Aren't they already like that?

Grandpa Christley is very excited for us to come out. I am ashamed to say that I haven't been back in ten years. My last trip home was when Tyler was four and Zakary was 2. Grandpa has already called me several times from his cell phone wanting to know what type of milk we drink and the breakfast cereal we eat and when we expect to be there. I told him repeatedly that we are going to bring food and shop while we are there and feed them. Hopefully they let us serve them. They are wonderful people and I am so exited for Janese and the kids to meet them. I will make sure I post pictures and blog entries about our trip when we get back or somewhere with Internet connection during the Self Imposed Insanity Summer Tour 2008.

I am off to pack. Wish me luck!